Sophie Says Sooth
2003.10.06: "If this woman didn't break up with you on the spot, she's a keeper. There are probably no other women alive who would clean up after you and only tease you a little bit. You are correct in assuming that you need to make this up to her."
2003.09.29: "Trying to develop telekinesis is going to take a lot longer than a couple of weeks. Your 2-3 hour per day practice regimen is a good place to start, but it you haven't got the right sort of practicing, then you're going to be shit out of luck no matter how long you try."
2003.09.22: "Hey, did you ever notice how all of the really bad stuff brought on by Catholics was so bad that it has to be capitalized? They're a bloodthirsty bunch of people and they seem to think that torturing and killing those who disagree with them is really the right way to solve disagreements. It may have been better for all of us in the long run to have made sure all of those pesky buggers were fed to the lions."
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Capital Ideas
2003.10.16: "Hoffmaster wasn't so sure. He was fascinated by it, of course, but he's had some bad experiences with Japanese sex toys in the past, and that shouldn't sound as bad as it does."
2003.10.03: "Immediately, I could see the target audience: middle-aged WASP women who know their husbands didn't want them getting too chunky, praise God. Not quite soccer moms, because they didn't want their kids mixing with the non-Christian kids at soccer. All of them were named Becky Sue Raeburn, and they all lived in Atlanta."
2003.09.26: "That's generally how it happens. He feels like, having struck a deal with a local, he must go and learn of the local culture through beer. Occasionally, somebody (me) has to go find him, but usually he just shows up right when it's time to leave. And it seems like he's always got a good story to go with the hole in his pocket. This time he spent roughtly $10,000 on cock fighting."
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Matriculation Reloaded
2003.02.23: "There wasn't a clearly marked office or headquarters as we got out of the car, but something quickly happened in the old Tommy Bartlett's Robot World bus behind us. Someone was beckoning us in. We went inside and he didn't even need to introduce himself: We knew. Bundled up and sitting next to a space heater, a crack of genius lightning running down his forehead, he was a guru awaiting earnest pilgrims."
2003.02.09: "I'm playing 'Boy 2' in a one-act character study called 'Mama Said....' We've got a month of rehearsal time before performances. As a writer I want to rewrite the script so much I could scream, or at least ad lib a lot. It's never strictly bad, it just doesn't quite have a voice of its own. You've already seen it if you've seen five randomly selected Parker Posey movies."
2003.02.02: "By the way, 40 people died in a train collision in Zimbabwe yesterday. Somehow I doubt anyone's debating the future of the Zimbabwean train program today."
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