hat is with you people and your relationship problems this week? Damn. You men must be acting up again, because there are a lot of women out there this week who are just looking for some guidance. As always, I'll be happy to help. Here we go:

So Sophie,

I consistently find myself overshadowed by other women and feeling insecure about my significant other whenever he talks about other women or admires them as they're walking past. Is this normal? What can I do to get over it?

-Jealous

Hey Jealous,

ust because something may be completely normal in our society doesn't mean it's right. Lots of women walk around feeling the exact same way that you do about themselves. You know why? Because, just like you, they're insecure. They have been subjected to the tyrannical oppression of Western society and as a result are programmed to feel like they need to be taller, thinner, prettier, have a bigger rack, firmer ass and I don't know what all. It's sad but there it is. Western men are conditioned to find tall heroin-addicted-looking women who have large pouches of silicone inserted beneath their skin attractive. They can't change this either.

Yeah, yeah... this is the rant you're going to hear from every feminazi man-hater out there. While that may be true, it's got nothing to do with why your boyfriend talks about or looks at other women. He does it because they're there. Plain and simple. He may well be perfectly happy with you but you can't expect him to walk around with blinders. Then again, perhaps you could ask him to be not quite so obvious about ogling other women in your presence. If he can do that, you've won a major milestone.

If this behavior is still going on and you don't like it, then perhaps you may want to go find yourself a boyfriend who isn't a huge prick.

So Sophie,

Even though men think women are impossible to figure out, I think we women are getting the short end of the stick here. Is it just me, are men really that confusing or is it that men are so simple that a woman's complex mind cannot imagine something so basic can function as a human being?

-Seeking Clarity

Hey Clarity,

hether or not men are confusing depends entirely upon whether you are in possession of a Y chromosome. Possessors of said chromosome believe that men are a straightforward people who say what they mean and don't play mind games. However, these same men have also admitted to playing mind games, strategizing about how to get exactly what they want and even writing books with that very goal in mind. I've seen them. There are volumes written on how to get women into bed and how to sucker them into giving a man anything he wants.

The long and short of it is this: men are just as complex as women but they're complex in an entirely different way. It's not just a matter of comparing apples and oranges. It's more like comparing apples and toaster ovens. Neither is programmed to work with the other, so there's no point in trying. Just enjoy the toaster oven and hope you figure out all the knobs someday.

So Sophie,

Recently I went to a large gathering of friends and wound up having a casual fling with a guy I just happened to meet there. Unexpectedly, he wrote me this morning. I don't know what I am going to do with that. He seems like a good guy to have in the background for those ego boost flings, but I am a little gun shy from a time that something like this happened. It was with a guy I had known before but lost touch with. We hit it off, and when I saw him after that he really drove me nuts and I couldn't stand him. So I am wondering if I should just let a good thing lie vs. actively pursuing anything else. Do I see the fling guy again or keep him in reserve for emergencies?

-Hesitant

Hey Hesitant,

his is an interesting question. Is the fling guy far from you? Are you in need of more frequent flings? Do you think he'll drive you nuts? If you think he will, then it's best to hold him in reserve. But don't cut off all contact. E-mail him occasionally. Steer clear of phone calls; those can lead to conversations you want no part of. These calls can start to involve talk of relationships, which is really best avoided with fling guys. They're most likely just saying that to get you to agree to go to bed with them again. Skip the crap. E-mail him once in a while to maintain contact and then when you need to vent some frustration again, give him a call.