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![]() 2002.08.05 So Sophie, Since leaving college I've been having a hell of a time finding, you know, a hook-up. Help me! -Not an Addict Hey Not, f you weren't really an addict you would have no need for a hook-up; you realize that, don't you? Have you looked around for one? Clandestine conversations with co-workers who seem cool? (But I suggest you keep this kind of activity away from anywhere your work contacts may discover it. Losing your job is not worth it.) Have you asked your friends? The ones who aren't cool will think you're joking and the ones who are just may be able to help you. Have these tactics not paid off? You could go to a college near you and make friends with the students there. When things get cozy, casually mention the stuff. If they respond positively, make a note of it. Later on, you can need a hook-up and perhaps they'll share theirs with you. (This only works if you're not too much older than they are. If you're over 30, don't try it. You'll be mistaken for a cop or some kind of pervert.) You could also hang out in a seamy section of town and hope you get approached by a local street dealer. These transactions are the riskiest sort and could involve you getting arrested, so be careful. If this is the way you're going to go don't carry a lot of money on you or anything that you don't want stolen. If these two don't work, try going out and meeting new people. Maybe one of them has a source they'd be willing to use on your behalf. If this doesn't pay off, either, then you may well be left without one. Sorry. It's a sad part of growing up. So Sophie, Is it still necessary for a woman to wear a business suit to an interview for an office or can a dress be appropriate? -Job Seeker Hey Seeker, don't think that wearing a plain dress to interview for an office job is appropriate. It will either portray you as weak and feminine or as someone who is too casual to be in the corporate world. Corporations are all about image. If you give off the wrong sorts of signals the sharks will eat you alive. While the corporate dress code may well be business casual, it's always better to arrive for an interview in formal business attire. It makes a stronger statement that you are a competent professional who takes her job seriously. Your suit doesn't need to be a skirt; there are many perfectly appropriate pantsuits for women in business. Stick to that and let the potential employer tell you what to wear to work on a daily basis once you get the job. So Sophie, You're a minister. Why should I buy this whole God thing? -Godless heathen Hey Godless, s a minister in the Universal Life Church, I can't tell you why you should or should not "buy this whole God thing." A person's religious beliefs are a deeply personal choice to which he or she is led through large amounts of personal reflection. If you're the sort of person who's questioning God, then it is up to you to either find or abandon God in your own time and manner. Which "God" are you asking me about buying into? Every religion has its own god or gods and it's extremely arrogant of you to assume that "god" refers only to the Judeo-Christian interpretation of the word. This sort of attitude is precisely the one that starts wars and all sorts of unpleasant interpersonal and international conflicts. There's something important that you need to realize right here and now. All religion, no matter what label you put on it, is essentially drawn from the same source. It's a means of tapping into the essence that pervades everything, living or not, and binds us all together. (The "Star Wars" people weren't too far off with their concept of the Force, actually.) Whichever method of accessing this essence works for you is ultimately the right one, but only for you. Every person needs to find their own way to do it. Human-influenced organized religion works for many people who don't have the ability to see past that into the unknown, but it's not really necessary. Neither is God. As a matter of fact, organized religion has always been a way for the government and the people who run the church to keep the majority of the population believing only in that propaganda that the church officials wanted to release. Centuries of truth and accurate history has been purged from the collective world consciousness because it contradicts what churches would have you believe. You want my advice? Cut out religion and find your spiritual path all by yourself. Only buy into the God thing if you really want to. Sophie is a licensed and bonded Soothsayer and an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church. Sophie Says Sooth appears weekly. |