So Sophie,

I've been talking a lot to a particular female friend who I am starting to think has romantic feelings toward me. I like her a lot, but not really that way. How can I let her down easily while not hurting her feelings and keeping her as a friend?

-Not inclined

Hey Inclined,

o this girl likes you and you like her but you don't "like her like her." This is a problem that almost all of us have faced from time to time and there is only one answer: you can't. Letting her down easily without hurting her feelings and still keeping her as a friend are not possible. You may as well ask me how to get the hippo out of your bathtub or what methods you can use to make right-wing Christians have an open mind. Same set of answers all around, I'm afraid. I can't believe that you didn't know that.

There are, however, ways of letting her down easily, hurting her feelings (but not as much as you could) and still keeping the friendship.

1. Ask her for advice about another woman. Make it someone real, but who Ms. Friend has no chance in Hell of actually running into in real life. Linda from accounting, for example. I mean, really... does Linda ever go anywhere you hang out? I didn't think so. Advantages: lets her know you're not interested, but it's no poor reflection on her. She'll be jealous and most likely give you poor advice on the whole thing with Linda, but since you and Linda aren't that serious it's not a big deal. You also get to let her know how much you value her as a friend, because who else would you bare your soul to like this? Disavantage: it pretty much makes you a big liar. And on the off chance she ever meets someone who knows Linda from accounting, you're gonna look like an ass.
2. Offer to fix her up with some dude you know. Make sure it's someone you really want her to be dating. Advantage: You're a swell caring guy who just wants to see her happy and you couldn't possibly be interested in her because of the interest your buddy Scott has. (To guys, the interest of a friend may not preclude you having an interest in her, but to women, the expressed interest of a friend puts up a big "hands off" signal to the rest of her friends -- she'll think you're sweet and you lose no face. And you stay friends. Disadvantage: Your buddy Scott might really start dating her.
3. Give her the "Isn't it great how we can be such good friends and there's no pressure on us to be anything more than that? I mean, I really like having you as a friend and I can talk to you and we can really communicate and we don't have to be anything more than that" speech. Advantage: It's completely honest and you aren't saying anything bad about anybody. Also, Scott stays the hell out of her pants. Disadvantage: This one stings. She might get real quiet at this point in the conversation. She'll get over it, soon most likely, and then you can get on with the friends bit.

But she's gonna get a little weird on you when you start dating someone else. Doesn't matter which option you take. It will happen. Hope she likes your girlfriend and vice versa, or you're gonna have trouble.

So Sophie,

What's the best way to disguise the taste/smell of cyanide?

-No reason

Hey Reason,

hat's a very interesting question you have there. Any particular reason you ask? Why cyanide? If you're going to poison someone, there are far more effective poisons that are virtually undetectable. If you're working on some kind of new cyanide-based perfume, then I think you may want to reconsider the whole notion, quite frankly. But if it's cyanide you want to disguise, and we are operating under the basic assumption that you are planning to use it as some kind of poison, there are a couple of ways to get it into a person without their noticing. Two flavors for you: cherries and almonds. You could get yourself some almond paste and mix it in. Then use the paste to make almond-filled pastries. Any Dutch cookbook should have a recipe or two. Those guys are big on that crap for some reason I have yet to grasp. In my personal opinion, almond paste is vile. I don't know who thought of the whole nut paste concept, but I'm pretty sure it was the sort of kid who used to eat crayons even up until fifth grade. Otherwise, make a cherry anything. The cyanide smells like almonds, the extract of which is distinctly cherry smelling. Pie, danish, strudel... just about anything will work. Better yet, combine the two and make cherry-almond danish or strudel. Cherry-almond pie sounds a bit nasty, I think, and I certainly would never eat that. One important note: if the intended recipient of the cyanide dislikes either of the two flavors, it might be best to get your hand on something else. If you do that, write back and we'll come up with another route.