2003.01.20

So Sophie,

My ten-year high school reunion is coming up and I'm worried that I won't be as successful as my peers. I was never really all that popular in high school, and I don't want to look like a dork when I show up. I was a nerd then and I don't think I've really made all that much progress. What should I do? Am I worried for nothing?

-Peer pressured

Hey Pressured,

here's really nothing for you to worry about. Everyone gets a little nervous before their high school reunion. The only people who enter these events with little or no trepidation are the half dozen women who, for some inexplicable reason, took it upon themselves to form the committee that put this whole affair on and the core group of (mostly jocks, I'd guess) people who were really popular then and don't think that anything has changed. Those of us who are on the outside of that group are generally pretty hesitant about showing up to these events and seeing what happened to everyone.

You may think it's necessary to make up some kind of big lie about what you've been doing so that you look good to all of these people whom you've not talked to in ten years and generally waste no time thinking about. Because, let's face it... no matter how much time you all may have spent going to classes together, you're still basically strangers. You were then and you still are. I mean, really, outside of the few close friends you may have been lucky enough to make while you were in high school, did any of these people really know you? And you graduated high school and went off to do whatever it is you did, and now you are worried about what a group of virtual strangers thinks about how you live your life? Do you go through this same shit when you go to the bar on the weekends? How about the grocery store? You concerned about the clerk's opinion of you? No? Then why are you getting all worked up now?

The thing to remember about going to these sorts of affairs is that the people who were really popular in high school likely peaked back then. They aren't still as cool as you all thought they were. The captain of the football team is probably an insurance salesman or something. No, my dear reader, the people who are really worth getting to know now are the geeks and other smart people who may actually have been underachievers back then. No one gave them the time of day in high school, and dismissed them as dorks and burnouts. But you know something? Those are the people most likely to go on to do something really cool. That guy who spent a lot of time smoking weed? Went to college and is now pulling down close to six figures doing creative design. The super nerdy chick who got a lot of good grades but was pretty quiet? Now she's a successful businesswoman who travels the world for free. The story goes on and on if you look at those people. The geeks are the people who no one was really all that nice to when you were teenagers, but now you all work for someone who used to be one. Odds are, they still are geeks, but in the real world, that's a lot more desirable an asset than being able to throw a long pass or tackle someone. Not one corporate meeting that I've ever been to has ended in feats of strength. Nope. Not a one. Matter of fact, nothing I've ever done in business has needed a large biceps. It seems that a well-formed frontal lobe works out a lot better in the long run. It's much more of an asset, and if you've got that, you're pretty much in.

So don't waste your time worrying about what a bunch of people you don't really know think about what you've done with your life. Go to the reunion if you want to, and socialize. It'll be a lot more fun than you think, because people aren't as shallow and petty now as they were ten years ago. You've grown up and so have they. Spend some time with the people you want to, catch up with old acquaintances, and then go back to your real life. It'll still be there, and you'll feel good coming back to it.


Sophie is a licensed and bonded Soothsayer and an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church. Sophie Says Sooth appears weekly.