So Sophie,

I read with interest your response (and re-response) to Sinner. While I agree with your assessment of the situation, I'd like to add a few thoughts.

I think deprogramming should include a good hard look into a person's fundamental essence -- that which makes them, them. Find the part that is empathetic, or loving, or sympathetic, or bitchy, and follow that back to its source. Shine the brightest light possible on each strand and decide which ones you want to keep and which you want to discard. It is possible, I believe, to recreate yourself based on an ideal. You may never actually reach that ideal, but you can move toward it.

That said, I agree that blindly following ANY thought or idea can only lead to negativity, self doubt, insecurity and depression. Keep encouraging those who seek your wisdom to think for themselves, to find their own path and walk it. It may not always be the most popular or the easiest to explain, but it only has to make sense to the one walking it. Thank you for your continued sooth...

-Buttinski

Hey Buttinski,

hile I'm glad you're reading what I have to say every week, I really must ask you to refrain from speaking about things you have no way to really understand. From the general tone of your letter, I think it's safe to assume that you were not brought up under the harsh reins of Catholicism. Your tone seems positive, upbeat, and rife with the strains of Eastern thought. Recovering Catholics, especially those who have only admitted that they have a problem, simply can't respond to methods like yours. Perhaps if you were trying to get through to some Methodists or something, they could grasp on to these ideals and run with them.

In theory, I agree that blindly following ideals can ultimately have a negative outcome, but a person has to start somewhere. Without ideals of any sort to base one's philosophy on, there's simply no means of piloting oneself through life. It's like learning to drive in a new place. You start by sticking to the route that you know, and once you're comfortable with that, you can break off and start driving down different streets, just to see where they go. But you can't start that way or you'll never have a home base to return to.

That said, I think I am just about done discussing Sinner's problems. If more help is needed in that area, Sinner is just going to have to write back personally and ask for it.

So Sophie,

This weekend I got really shit-faced at my girlfriend's party, went to pass out on her bed, and woke up hurling all over the place. She came in to clean me up and take away the messy sheets and I felt so miserable, all I could do was mutter 'I'm so sorry' over and over again. She wasn't mad at all; she just teased me a little bit. But I feel so bad, is there something I can do to make it up to her?

-151 Shooter

Hey Shooter,

ude. No, really. That is really bad form. There are almost no circumstances under which puking in your girlfriend's bed is acceptable. If she poisoned you, and you were wracked with the convulsions that she caused, it might be okay. Or maybe that's some sort of fetish game... then it could possibly work, although I would strongly suggest that the two of you get some serious counseling.

But puking in her bed because you were too drunk? Damn. You're leaving me practically speechless over here, and that's hard to do. I'm actually having a hard time getting over my revulsion at the picture this is making in my head. You have no idea how close I am to sympathy nausea over here. Gah.

If this woman didn't break up with you on the spot, she's a keeper. There are probably no other women alive who would clean up after you and only tease you a little bit. You are correct in assuming that you need to make this up to her.

First off, if you haven't already, buy that girl some new sheets. Make sure they're the nicest ones you can find, and if they're out of your price range, too fucking bad. Get the sheets anyway. And don't drink at her next party. Keep yourself sober and make nice with all of her friends, even the one you never really cared much for. Get her some kind of "just for no reason" gift. And a new toothbrush.

Most of all, treasure the strength of character (and stomach) that she must possess. Keep her happy at all costs and never let her go. Significant others like this happen along once in a lifetime.