Sunday, 4:50 pm. Fantasy X.

So, I was on the phone Sunday afternoon and this guy calls up and asks me where I�m from. Oh my gosh! We are from the same city! No way! Can you believe it? And no, he�s never called phone sex before, this is his FIRST TIME!

Immediately he asks me if I�m married or have a boyfriend. �No, I�m single�.� knowing full well the next words out his mouth were going to be:

�Well, hell! Let�s go get a cup of coffee!� And they were. What a fucking idiot, I felt like asking him if he was going to pay 69 cents a minute to hang out with me. But I didn�t.

�Wow! Really?! I wish I could, but I have to work, you know?�

He really believes that I�m interested in meeting up with him. He tells me about the house he lives in and that there is a pool there, trying to tempt me to blow off work. I lead him through a bunch of �first date� conversations: what music do you like, what hobbies do you have, and the real killer � what about the last relationship. Oh, he is gobbling it up. Or rather, having a ball selling himself to me.

The whole time I�m thinking, �You dumbass, you think this is real?� At least the stupid guys who can�t imagine enough good stuff to get themselves off and the guys who have the crazy fantasies know that they are paying to talk to someone who is getting paid to listen to perverts. Deep down, they know I�m faking it. This guy is stupider than stupid.

So, this is awesome, he�s on the line for 30 minutes and we decide to meet, this Wednesday at noon at a restaurant in town for lunch. He wants to give me his phone number but I tell him I can�t take it because I�ll get fired. He does not take my extension number, and we get cut off mid-sentence. Kick ass, a 35 minute call! And the best part is I didn�t even have to get him off!

Needless to say, I�m not going to meet him. Although, I have a helper monkey who plans to check out the place to see if he actually shows up.

Moral of the story: Don�t try to make dates with phone girls.