Ever flip through the newpaper personal ads and see all those luscious women staring at you and wonder what it is like to talk to them? Don�t lie, I know you have.

In case you ever give into temptation, here are a few tips:

1. Speak clearly. Don�t lounge back on your bed and have the phone lie next to you. If I can�t hear you, I�m gonna have to say �What?� after everything you say. That�s probably not very sexy. Hold it up to your ear with your hand or get a headset.

2. Talk. It seems obvious, but so many callers don�t. Some guys will call and when I ask, �Whatcha doing?� they�ll say �Nothing.� Now that is tough, I mean, I�m trying to talk you through a fantasy, a fantasy that you like no less. I�m not a fucking mind reader, lemon pie. Give me a clue. It can be as simple as:

a. �I�m wearing pink panties.�
b. �I�m looking for a dominant woman.�
c. �Man, I like big titties!�
d. �I like to fuck in the ass.�
e. �I like group sex.�

See, I�ve heard it all.

3. Time. I don�t know about all phone girls, but I get paid based on how long my average call is. And remember, even though you are probably paying a shitload of money for the call, I�m not seeing very much of it. For me, calls under 2 minutes don�t count in my average, so if you are looking for a quickie, get started before you call me and get ready to move once I get on the phone! If you are interested in really having a good long talk, plan on at least 10-15 minutes, that way you won�t fuck with the girl�s hold time.