Sometimes in the middle of it all, I hear BEEP BEEP BEEP in my ear as the guy punches at his telephone number pad. I used to get pissed and say, �You have to hang up to get a new girl,� which is true. But I got to thinking and today when this guy who seemed totally into me being 23 and cute and bubbly started BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP in my ear I thought, �Fuck you, I�m a phone actress,� and in my best automaton voice said, �Welcome to the main menu.�

Now, you are probably wondering how I know what the �main menu� sounds like. No, I didn�t call myself, there is a long story about a guy calling me and then wanting to have a three-way phone sex conversation and called another phone sex line and I heard it. But I�ll tell you that story later�.

�Welcome to the main menu. To talk to a woman, press 1.� Nothing. �To talk to a man�� BEEP.

�To talk to a straight woman, press 1.� Nothing. �To talk to a bisexual�� BEEP.

�Please hold.�

AND HE DID!!! FOR A WHOLE MINUTE! He must of started getting antsy because he started pushing buttons again. I sent him back to the main menu.

�Welcome to the main menu. To talk to a woman�.� BEEP.

�To talk to a straight woman, press 1. To talk to a bisexual woman, press 2. To talk to a lesbian, press 3.� BEEP.

�Please hold.�

AND HE DID! AGAIN! FOR TWO MINUTES!!!!

Ants in his pants and he started pushing buttons again, and of course, he got sent back to the main menu. This time he didn�t press for a woman right away so I guessed and went down the �man path.�

�To talk to a straight man, press 1. To talk to a bisexual man, press 2. To talk to a gay man, press 3.� BEEP.

�Please hold.�

This retard will hold for anything! I don�t know what happened then, I heard some real automaton say something about a credit card number and he hung up. Sad. I guess phone sex is broken today.