SEE YA IN HELL, YOU PIGFUCKERS.

The Buffalo Beast has determined the 50 most loathsome people of 2004. Some highlights:

39. Tom Cruise ... Consistently influential in casting women in his movie for the sole purpose of nailing them. Extremely convincing when he plays an ambitious, superficial prick.

19. Zell Miller ... Part Yosemite Sam and Part Foghorn Leghorn. Miller doesn�t make the list for his salivating, traitorous keynote speech at the Republican National Convention, or even the duel thing with Chris Matthews. He makes the list because he really does represent Southern Democrats.

5. John Kerry ... Managed to lose to the most hated president in American history by virtue of his total inability to convincingly portray himself as a human being.

4. Dick Cheney ... The kind of guy who starts talking cannibalism the minute he steps on the lifeboat.

2. Donald Rumsfeld ... Carries himself in press conferences like a cranky grandfather who is sick of hearing his daughters whine about how he molested them every now and then.

Somehow not featured: Dennis Miller, Jim Belushi and every football announcer in the employ of Fox Sports.

Posted by Aaron S. Veenstra ::: 2005:01:25:19:52

3 Comments

mom said:

This one is most telling, and most frightening:

3. You
Crimes: You gaze idly at the carnage around you, sigh, and go calmly back to your coffee and your People magazine. You can�t stop buying useless crap, though you�re drowning in a deepening pool of debt. You think you�re an activist because you bitch all day on the internet, but you reelect the same gangsters at a 99% rate. You consider yourself informed because you waste a significant portion of your life watching the same three news stories cycle over and over again on your gargantuan, aerodynamic television set while you eat processed food. You really thought everything would be okay if Kerry won. Not only do you believe in an invisible man who magically farted out the universe, you also excoriate and marginalize those who disagree. You have a poorer understanding of your country�s foreign policy history than a third world peasant, but you can�t wait to see what Julia Roberts will be wearing at the Oscars. You cheer as Ukrainians challenge an election based on exit poll data, but keep waiting around for someone else to fix your problems. You can�t think, you can�t organize and you won�t act. This is all your fault.
Smoking Gun: You�re fat.
Punishment: You�re soaking in it.

emily said:

Damn. I am loathsome. And I was just begining to get over all my Catholic guilt.

mom said:

I was told the difference between guilts yesterday while I was interviewing a woman who is a PhD in medical anthropology.

Catholic guilt is for stuff you did.
Jewish guilt is for stuff you didn't do.
Protestant guilt is just for being born.

I got 2 out of 3 and I'll NEVER get over it. I'll just continue to ignore it!

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