I don't know if I'm just sensitized to it, or if there are an inordanatly large number of Texans that call phone sex. So this Texan called me up the other night and right away starts calling me 'bitch' and 'whore' and using really harsh language.

So, after a few minutes of this, I say, "You're calling me all these names, can I call you names?"

"Oh, yeah!"

"Alright you asshole. You fucking son of a bitch. %$#^#$%##$#^&^%*%^"

Things go from bad to worse quickly, he says, "I'm gonna shit in your mouth. I'm going to fuck your ass and then your twat and get your own shit in your twat."

Blah, blah, blah, this raunchy talking goes on for about 10 minutes, him saying he loves this dirty talk. But then the tide turns quickly. He says,

"You know, I don't really like this dirty talk. All I really want is nice soft, kisses on my neck while we make love. Come on, baby. Tell me you love me."

"No way." Please remember that the answer to everything on phone sex is 'yes.'

"What?!? Come on, tell me you love me." he pleads.

Finally, I get to express to him my hatred of him and his state.

"No, I don't love anyone from Texas." HA HA!