THIS POST CAN'T BE DESCRIBED.
I try to avoid posts about random things that happen to annoy me, but I've simply gotten to critical mass with descriptions of indie bands that go out of their way to not describe the bands. To wit, this blurb about Spain Colored Orange:
Grant me this disclaimer: no review (written or oral) can adequately describe the explosion of energy and passion on the latest EP by Spain Colored Orange. Hopelessly Incapable of Standing in the Way is a phenomenal collection of magnetic, multi-instrumental, majestically mashed-up Latin jazz, bar pop, and psychedelic bedroom balladry. Over its 33 minutes, the EP stimulates the feet, fingers, and feelings of listeners with remarkable shifts in style and tone that never sound overdone.
Or this, about Trace Bundy:
Trace Bundy is an innovative instrumental acoustic guitar player who lives and performs in Boulder, CO. He has been playing for over 15 years, and has developed an amazing and complex style. He is constantly coming up with new innovative ways to stretch the limits of the acoustic guitar. You must watch him play to understand what this means. "
That doesn't really describe it very well.
How about Time in Malta?
How the fuck can Time In Malta create all these things at once? I asked myself. And I know the reviewer credo. Try to throw out something to explain what the hell it is we are listening to. It happens all the time, as bands baffle our musical experiences, and leave us awkward for words. So upon hearing the variety of descriptive summations with regard to ‘Construct and Demolish’, I was sure that it was the personal tastes of individual reviewers attempting to shape the band to fit a personal comfort zone. By no means could this band baffle the literary press with some deeply personal connection to the music. Well, did I fucking choke on that idea. Slap another layer in that mistake sandwich I’ve been whipping up for a while now. Because in the most abstract of ways, the reviewing forefathers were all correct. Time In Malta are perfection in musical bridging that defies the ability for straight classification.
Dude, no. It sounds like somebody or something, even if it doesn't sound exactly like anything else. Figure it out or don't write about it, fools.